I just haven't met you yet

Michael Bublé may still be searching for the love of his life, but hundreds of people are on an even more desperate search for a match – a bone marrow donation match. Every year, thousands of people with life-threatening diseases like leukemia need bone-marrow transplants. Literally, their lives depend on people who have registered and signified that they are willing to donate marrow if called upon. Bone marrow donations must be genetically compatible, meaning that while only a small percentage of those who register will be selected to donate, it’s possible that you could be someone’s only registered match. You could be the only one compatible to save a life.

Race and ethnicity are important compatibility-determining factors. Currently, the National Marrow Donor Program has a particular need for donors with diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds including African American, American Indian, Asian, Pacific Islander, and Hispanic. However, if your racial palette is diverse enough to include English, Scottish, and Finnish, you shouldn’t hesitate to register. Are you ready to make the commitment? Do you have a few questions? Would you like to make a financial contribution? Click below.

I don't care what the economists say, I did get a free lunch.

This morning I was a warrior for the green team at the World's Largest Water Balloon Fight. The field of battle? RB Field on BYU campus. Afterward I donated blood for the American Red Cross. The total free-stuff haul for the day included: 2 t-shirts (1 for donating blood, 1 for the water balloon fight), a big cup of cookies-n-cream ice cream from BYU Creamery, a sub, water, juice, shortbread cookies, a sticker, and a red bandage. Not bad.

Part II: Thoughtful Communication Does Bode Well for Me

Please kindly read "Part I: Spontaneity Does not Bode Well for Me" to accurately put this post in context. Thank you.

Today I asked an important question of an important person. I had long thought about this question - how, when, or if I wanted to raise the subject. After pondering, prayer, and a bit of discussion with one confidant, I came to a tentative conclusion. When I finally asked the question, the discussion went remarkably well. It was everything I hoped it would be - open, honest, mature, heartfelt, and fruitful. The thanks for that result, however, can't be justly attributed to my me or my long-pondered question. All the thanks go to her. She is amazing on so many levels and I am deeply grateful for her. Now, spontaneity may have it's place, but this discussion resulted in wise conclusions, not hasty reactions. I have a difficult time putting myself in the vulnerable position of exposing what a truly feel. I don't believe I need to express my inner insecurities, yearnings, and desires to everyone I meet, but it is liberating to reveal those things to someone who truly "gets" me. This is beautifully vague and I'm keeping it that way.

Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.

from Jerry Maguire (1996)

Part I: Spontaneity does not Bode Well for Me

Perhaps there are some people who are good at making snap judgment about important issues. I’m not one of those people. I recall that one time, when I was faced with the decision to break-up with a girl or to stay together with her, she offered the following challenge to my appeal for more thinking time: “You shouldn’t have to think about it; you should just know.” I, however, don’t “just know”. If I ever fool myself into thinking that I do “just know” I usually make the wrong decision. Even with emotionally charged issues like this one, I have to ponder, pray, and weigh the consequences of various pathways. Emotion and logic cannot be divorced in such decision-making, and neither can one be ignored. Several days ago, I made a spontaneous decision that I deeply regret. I did not do anything wicked, but I did do something foolish. If I had taken a few minutes to think about this decision before making it, I am almost convinced that I would have chosen otherwise.

Often, we feel that we have been backed into a corner and that an immediate response is required of us. Frequently, however, if we take a moment to think, our “corner” is made of painted cardboard walls, disguised, by ourselves or others, to make us feel trapped – to make us feel that we must decided now. In the future, I plan to test those flimsy walls and not feel pressured to decide immediately. My decisions, to a large degree, determine my happiness. Thus, when I give myself more time to think, I am and will be happier. Thankfully, I do believe in repentance and I know that any given decision I make will not permanently resign me to unhappiness. Even so, the progression of time will never be reversed, so I prefer to avoid errors. Think about it.

Philippe Bénéton, Andy Warhol, and the Narcissism of Social Networking

This morning I read a New York Times by David Brooks about a striking example of modern-day narcissism in Hollywood. Evaluating this example along with the steady rise in narcissistic attitudes since the 1950s, he writes, “There can’t be many people at once who live in a celebrity environment so perfectly designed to inflate self-love. Even so, a surprising number of people share that trait (2010).” Of course, not all well-known people or narcissists and not all narcissists are well known. However, if a “celebrity environment” is a contributing condition for the development of narcissism, then perhaps the modern rise is narcissism isn’t all that surprising. In 1968, Andy Warhol famously prophesied that: “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”. Could Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, Blogger, and Twitter be giving us enough of the celebrity’s sensation of notoriety, reciprocation, and peer-approval to awake the narcissist within? Granted, the general onslaught of the worship of self pre-dates the conception of modern social networking and “new media” by several decades. In his eye-opening lament of modernity, Equality by Default, Philippe Bénéton draws an example of this new religion from a seemingly unlikely source: the evolution of U.S. Military recruitment propaganda. In an attempt to recruit soldiers for the First World War, the military distributed the famous poster of Uncle Sam pointing at the viewer and sternly declaring “I want you for [the] U.S. Army”. The poster evoked a sense of patriotism and duty. In the 1990s, the U.S. Army launched a campaign with the slogan “be all you can be,” appealing to the potential recruits’ sense of self-actualization. One of the Army’s most recent slogans, “an Army of one,” evokes the modern sense of atomization and even narcissism (2004). In many cases, social media provides us with opportunities for even greater levels of self-glorification. However, the fact that social media allows us to connect with increasingly greater numbers of people clearly indicates its immense power for good. Far from inevitably leading to atomization, these media forms can facilitate collaboration, across distance, culture, religion, and class. The rapid exchange of ideas across social media lines of course allows for traffic of uplifting, true, and thought-provoking discourse that is widely beneficial, along with the violent, the indecent, the hateful, and the self-glorifying. Every technological media development from the printing press to the iPhone, has expanded our ability to influence other people and, by so doing, bring notoriety to ourselves. If we are going to wield this power, we must accept that it carries a certain responsibility. Is social media good or bad? That is entirely up to you.

Works Cited:

Bénéton, Philippe. 2004. Equality by default: An essay on modernity as confinement. Translated by Ralph C. Hancock. Wilmington, Deleware: ISI Books.

Brooks, David. 2010. The gospel of Mel Gibson. New York Times, July 16, Op-ed.

Notes: Thank you to my dear friend Katie Nelson for helping me set up this blog. For one example of the positive uses of social media, please visit another blog that Katie created: Sustain Haiti.